The Unseen Force Holding You Back

"You can’t change your story if you keep standing in the same place."

-James McPartland

We like to think we’re in charge of our own growth. We tell ourselves that if we work harder, get more disciplined, or read the right book, we’ll become someone new. But most of us overlook how much our environment shapes the story we live in. The routines we follow, the places we spend our time, the people we interact with every day all have a way of keeping us the same.

It’s a bit like trying to step forward with one foot nailed to the floor. We meet with the same clients, have the same conversations, sit in the same chair, drink the same coffee, and take the same breaks. None of these things are bad, but they are familiar.

And familiarity can keep us anchored to who we have been.

Neuroscientists suggest that by around age 35, 95% of who we are is a memorized set of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. That means most of our days, and the conversations we have with ourselves during them, run on autopilot. 

We check our phones at the same time every morning. We tell ourselves we will start the workout tomorrow. We promise we will stop watching after one more episode. We laugh about these habits with colleagues and friends because they feel normal. But normal often keeps us stuck.

Repetitive thoughts drive repetitive behaviors. Over time, we can become addicted to the feelings those thoughts produce—stress, worry, even frustration. If you want to understand how you feel, ask what you’ve been telling yourself. Your feelings are often the echo of your inner dialogue.

Here’s the challenge: change feels uncomfortable. New thoughts and feelings can seem wrong at first, so we retreat to what’s familiar. That’s why waiting until we “feel like it” is a trap we rarely do.

Real change begins with a new inner conversation, often sparked by a shift in environment. It might mean moving to a different space, taking a new route to work, surrounding yourself with new people, or breaking small patterns like the morning scroll. When you change your environment, you interrupt the unconscious script and open space for a new story.

If the world around you keeps offering the same cues, your inner voice will keep telling the same story. To become someone new, you will need to do something new, even if it feels uncomfortable at first. 

Your environment is not just the backdrop to your life. It is the quiet narrator of your future.

Mac 😎